Monday, July 22, 2024

Walking with the Red Dao

Note: This post was written by Holly who is currently unable to access her Blogger account).


Doannie and I couldn’t go to Sa Pa due to a deadly landslide that cut off all access to this northwesterly corner of Viet Nam in 2008, so I was very excited to be traveling there this time around. On the advice of our friends and super world travelers Kameko and Eric, we booked the overnight Chapa train from Ha Noi to Láo Cai against the initial advice of our travel agent Diep (who overestimated our appetite for luxury travel and underestimated our love of public transportation). This was no T or MARTA - the Chapa train was actually quite lux and our sleeper cabin and its gentle clickety-clack sounds made for a great slumber. We woke up 7 hours later and 20 degrees cooler on the border with China in the misty rain.




My mom and I decided that Láo Cai province is the Oconee county of Viet Nam - it is in the far northwestern corner, in the foothills of a large mountain range (the Hoàng Liên Son, the easternmost part of the Himalayas), and chock full of beautiful hikes and waterfalls. Our trip to the top of Fanispan mountain and to Heaven’s Gate were both completely swathed in clouds, but that didn’t slow us down. When walking through the mist to the Love Waterfall we were surrounded by a swarm of dragonflies, which might be the most mystical thing I have ever experienced.

One of many waterfalls we saw

View from the top of Fansipan Mountain - on a clear day you can see to China and Lao

Walking with the dragon flies

We also decided that Sa Pa town is the Gatlinberg of Viet Nam - kind of kitschy, but also quaint and lovely and a wonderful destination for families. One of the benefits of traveling to Viet Nam in July was that most of the tourists in this and other areas were Vietnamese folk enjoying their summer holidays. We walked around the lake, watched kids play hacky sack, helped the kids negotiate their first souvenir purchases, and even convinced Em to try street food.




But the most unique part of our time in Sa Pa was our trek through the rice fields with women from the Red Dao tribe. All down the length of the country, the mountains of western Viet Nam’s border with Lao are home to ethnic groups who are distinctly different from the Viet people. They all have their own languages and traditional dress - our guide Do Do, who is Hmong, could only converse with the Red Dao women in Vietnamese. When we stepped off the main road and into the terraced fields, seven women appeared out of thin air - exactly one for each member of our group. One walked with each of us, holding our hands as they guided us down the steep paths and over the river passages. We saw people harvesting corn (which is planted on the slanted part of the terraces, in between the rice) and even saw a guy putting fish from his small estuary into the seat of his moto to take to market before speeding away up the incline. At the end of our journey, the women insisted we each buy a small handicraft from them even though we had just wanted to compensate them for their time as our guides. I’m so glad we did, as I love that we have these momentos of our time with them.

Ariel view of the fields from our cable car trip

We were trekking on the slim flat area in between the rice terraces



Why would you DIY when you can hire an expert?

(Note: This post was written by Holly who is currently unable to access her Blogger account).

This is a paraphrase of an adage of my friend Anne Tucker, an Atlanta law professor and all around boss whose career and approach to life I greatly admire. (Another Anne Tucker gem - Only wear natural fibers. I am convinced this is why I sweat less than the rest of my family on this trip). In today’s internet enabled DIY culture, it is easy to save a few bucks by endlessly searching and booking your own travel arrangements. While I normally love vacation planning, the realities of working full time and parenting two humans and three furbabies meant that Doannie and I were not making much progress on our trip plans this spring. After gravitating back to the same website when searching “three weeks in Viet Nam” late at night, I sent them an inquiry about hiring one of their travel agents. A brief web intake partnered me with Ashley (whose Vietnamese name is Diep) from Realistic Asia. She is simply amazing. Diep would send me some basic questions about what we liked to do, where we liked to eat, and what kinds of accommodations we preferred. Based on my replies, she would craft an itinerary for me to review. The 11 hour time difference worked in our favor - with Diep sending me a new version at the end of her work day, I woke up each morning with something to comment on, which only took a few minutes. When my parents decided in May to join us for the first week of our trip, she easily added them and then built out additional days in Thailand and Japan suited to their travel style.


Realistic Asia’s philosophy is to immerse travelers into local cultures. Our guides Mai and Do Do (pronounced “Zo Zo”) shared much about themselves as they took us from well known tourist stops to places for “the local people” in Ha Noi and Sa Pa. Mai was more reserved and clearly speaking the party line about Ho Chi Minh and Viet Nam’s history, but she also took us to the Women’s Museum where we learned about the evolving gender dynamics in Viet Nam’s traditional culture.

The women of our trip with our guide, Mai

War poster showing women's many roles


Do Do, in contrast, was a total firecracker who was living out that evolution and loved to tell us all about it as we scaled up and down the slippery rocks of our waterfall hikes. She grew up farming with her family and carrying crops up and down the mountains of NW Viet Nam at a time when educational opportunities for girls were limited and marriages were still arranged. Now she leads 2-3 day treks up those mountains while her husband works the family farm and is a stay at home dad. When my dad said he admired her independence and strong women everywhere, she laughed and told him to watch out or one of the local women would kidnap him for their own!

Do Do teaching us about rice farming


Our week in northern Viet Nam planned by Diep was full of seamless transitions - drivers and guides greeting us at every turn holding a sign with our names - literally door to door service, even helping us check in for our flight from Ha Noi to Hue. While this certainly made traveling with my parents and our children easier, it did not afford us much time to practice our Vietnamese or to eat our beloved street food. We chose to plan weeks two and three on our own, and I appreciated Diep even more as we spent hours weighing our choices and booking planes, trains, and automobiles at the height of the local tourist season. Doannie and I hunkered down with our phones while the kids played arcade games at the Hue Cinestar (they even have slot machines for children, a testament to how much the Vietnamese love to gamble). Did we get our preferred lodging or flight every time? No. Was it worth it to relive some of our old backpacking days and our kids’ Amazing Race fantasies and to see Doannie negotiate our way in Vietnamese? Absolutely. Sometimes it pays to pay an expert, and sometimes it's a joy to go it on your own. But always wear natural fibers.


They literally put tags around our necks at the rest stops so our guide could find us, like kindergarteners


The baby slot machines at Cinestar




bread - a blog-flection on life in Vietnam

~~ bread

Imagine you are bread. Plain to start with, but each new experience gives us new flavors, new styles, and a new perspective on the impact we make on the world. We all start out like bread at the market, raw and waiting for the right people to influence us and mold us to be the best we can. A chef may buy you, and turn you into a fabulous bánh mì, full of flavors and life. Or maybe you will be part of a dinner for a family in the back of an alleyway apartment. Bread can be spicy, sweet, or savory, long, short, or thick. Like us, it is an empty shell available to be changed to its finest purpose. This is true across the world, because when we are born, we all have the same potential. The change begins when it’s time to add ingredients (which in this blog is a metaphor for resources and experiences). Competition is always high for the freshest flavors and the most garnish in the West. It might feel like as long as you get the most flavors and attention, it doesn’t matter if the bread around you gets anything at all. There are enough ingredients for everyone, but many end up with nothing. In Vietnam, resources are slim and scarce. Still, there is no competition for ingredients. You get as much as you need, but no more. Everyone has less, but no one is left out. The lifestyle in Vietnam is like that of a supermarket filled with bread, where no matter what path you choose to follow, you can always come out better and more full.

also I got a baguette for 12 cents so yeah amen

-elliot, bread connoisseur 

Ranking the Pools

A pool can be a work of art, like at the Almanity in Hoi An. Or a small, rectangular, one-depth pool like at The Rex in Dong Hoi. As the swimmer in the family (some call me a waterbug), I have been given the opportunity to rate the pools I have swam in these past 3 weeks: 

1# Almanity-Hoi An: This pool had amazing features and the beloved sun bathing waterfall pool. 4.5 stars


2# Ecolodge-Sa Pa: the amazing view from its infinity pool makes you feel like you are swimming on a cloud. But the mini pool was a cold plunge, not a hot tub! 4 stars


3# Premier Village-Da Nang: This pool had a swim up bar and an infinity view of the ocean. But it was so long it was hard to swim laps and in one area it was so shallow I scratched my knee on the bottom. 3.5 stars.


4# Co Tam’s Homestay-Hue: Though it's small, it had a friendly vibe. 3.5 stars.


5# Somerset Grand-Ha Noi: I don’t really remember anything about this pool other than it was refreshing on our first day. But it had two mini pools. 2.5 stars.



6# Rex-Dong-Hoi: This pool was tiny but the roof top view was great. 2.5 stars.


7# Doris Cruise-Ha Long Bay: You couldn’t really swim in it as it was on a boat, but you had the ocean for that. 1 star.




But of course I can’t leave out the lakes, rivers, and oceans. The ocean by Me Noi’s house was beautiful and we found many large fish scales and purple shells. Aside from the ocean by Me Noi’s house, my favorite was the lake near the Dark Cave and the one inside. It had a lot of things to do like mud bathing. The ocean in Da Nang was beautiful and did not have too many shells or seaweed. The sand was so soft.









Sunday, July 21, 2024

I'm proud of the balance we struck with street food.

Our visit in 2008 was essentially organized around eating on the street, preferably sitting on the little red stool that we waxed poetically about at length. The best street vendors are specialists, usually serving one dish until they run out. Given the fact that Louise is mostly vegetarian and Elliot is a little pickier, I didn’t expect us to do too much street food eating, but I was pretty determined not to eat pizza, burgers and french fries for every meal, or to limit our eating entirely to super polished restaurants. I knew that eating Vietnamese food wasn’t going to be a huge issue from a palate perspective - we’ve been eating this flavor profile at home and at Me Noi’s house since they were born. But you never really know how kids will react until you’re in the moment. 

I’m super proud of them - they tried so many things in so many different kinds of places - from high-end, Michelin rated spots to shacks on the beach. Both kids learned how to ask for so many things, and I’m excited to keep tacking on new vocab. Of course, we occasionally would get pizza and burgers and french fries, which was great, even if the ketchup was the wrong shade of red. 

Eating bun cha ca, a local Da Nang speciality, recommended to us by our friend Hang in Hue. 

Shopping in the market with our cooking class teacher in Hoi An


Street food might be closer to the real source, but cooking everything yourself is even better!


And finally getting to a "bia hoi" spot - fresh keg beer and every kind of meat you can imagine.

An ode to rau muong xao - sauteed morning glory - one of the greatest veggies ever. We had it with every meal. 


It was neither red, nor a stool, but it was on the street and was a legit delicious bowl of pho. 



Who has two Tams and loves Hue?

When we came in 2008, we spent a month in Hue and took consistent lessons with Tam (pronounced a bit like thumb). She was a delight back then, not only because she was an excellent and lively teacher, but also because nearly every lesson she would implore us to come back with our con lai, literally translated as mixed children, when we had them. In 2008, we stayed for a time at the convent where my aunt has spent over 60 years of her life, in a neighborhood of Hue called Kim Long, just west of the imperial citadel. Coming back this time, it was such a treat to have our time in Hue bookended by two incredible Tam’s - one was our teacher from our first visit and the other owned the homestay we called home for the week. 

As we prepared to return to Hue, a quick Google search miraculously resurfaced Co Tam’s cell phone number and we were able to contact her and set up both a reunion and a set of lessons for our week in Hue. We returned to the same Hue University building where her classroom was and had what would be the first of three awesome group lessons. It was a masterclass in pedagogy - she followed our interest, but still had a unifying systematic approach tailored to the time we had available, and she made us engage in authentic and rigorous practice. 




Later that night, we met up with her and her two adult kids at Imperial Beer, which was also a delight. Interestingly, both her kids are named after famous milk brands. Her son, Enfa, is about to leave to study engineering in France and her daughter, Meiji, is about to attend university in Taiwan. As one would expect from the kids of someone who teaches English for a living, they spoke it perfectly. It was a fun and far ranging conversation about their futures, and what it was like growing up in Vietnam. 

We had another incredible Tam in our lives in Hue, the owner of our homestay. The homestay was tucked away in the alleys of the Kim Long neighborhood, only a 5 minute walk from the convent where my aunt has lived for over sixty years. The proprietor was an incredible business owner also named Tam, who launched this homestay just a year ago. She made our experience in Hue so much richer in so many ways. The room was simple and lovely - we all shared one super huge bed, which was hilarious. Breakfast every morning was ready as soon as we came down and she always had recommendations about what to see and where to eat around town. Moreover, she helped arrange so many travel logistics for our day trips out of the city. On our last day, when we had just about an hour to kill before heading to the train station, she even gave us a ride on her moto to a friend’s place to do a shampoo, facial and head massage before giving us a ride to the station. Even after we left Hue, she’s continued to help us navigate issues by text. 

     Co Tam and her husband taking us on to an impromptu spa jaunt. 
The sign says "come as friends, leave as family"


The two Tams made our experience in Hue more like visiting friends than just touring or even just visiting family. Keeping in touch with people we met was a challenge 16 years ago, with international texting being cost prohibitive, and skype was barely a thing then. Now there is no shortage of communication tools, as we all know. We are all looking forward to staying in touch and meeting again when we are back in Hue!


Saturday, July 20, 2024

The Biggest Cave System in the World (and musings on opportunity in Vietnam)

While in Hue, we spent a day exploring the Phuong Nha caves, part of the largest cave system in the world. They were discovered just over a decade ago by a farmer who was hunting in the  mountains and found a 4 meter square hole that led down into a cave system that encompasses many kilometers. The formations in this cave system are otherworldly - the stalactites and stalagmites have an almost organic quality. 







We went to a second cave that we accessed by zip line and a short swim - the Dark Cave. Elliot developed a stomach ache so waited for us outside. Inside this cave, we were quickly enveloped by an impenetrable darkness, and the path narrowed into a mudlined slipstream, barely wide enough for your feet one in front of the other. So, a dark, enclosed, muddy space with one of your kids ill outside - basically Holly’s nightmare fuel. 

Elliot was fine when we emerged, and we had a great time playing in the waterpark with dozens of Vietnamese tourists frolicking, climbing, swimming and paddleboarding. I’m not sure it occurred to anyone that one could stand on the boards, but we modeled it and soon enough others were trying it.  

The highlight of this tour for me was getting to chat, mostly in Vietnamese, with our guide, Linh. We talked about how hard things were in the 90’s and how the sense of opportunity has been growing in Vietnam for the past 20 years. He told me that nearly everyone who can hustle can make a million VND a day, and keep their living expenses to 100K VND a day. In a couple of years, you can save to buy a car or a house, and establish a pretty good life for yourself. Linh told me that he was actually trained as a construction engineer and had spent time in Singapore working like a dog to achieve what he called “a big dream” but that it took a toll on his health and happiness. He eventually returned home to take care of his aging parents, and in his own words he “made his dreams a little smaller”. But he was happier now, overall, and enjoying his life with his wife and two kids. 

Later that evening, we returned to Imperial Beer and talked at length with the owners, Sean and Hang. We asked Sean how he came to settle in Vietnam from southern California and talked with Hang about how Vietnamese people were experiencing life in the current moment. These two conversations echoed each other and the earlier conversation I had with Linh. Sean told us about coming in 2009 and hanging out with a friend, working to make a little money in the morning and then being able to enjoy the late afternoon and evening having a coffee, some beers, and then a delicious dinner. He asked his friend, “is this your life?”, obviously calling the question of what was so valuable about his life in the US. 

Hang said that being Vietnamese right now is about hustling, but still taking time to be with friends and family, eating and drinking together on the street. I asked her a question about corruption, whether it felt like anything was systematically unfair or stacked against those less powerful. From her perspective, it seemed like there wasn’t that much outright corruption from government officials, but something similar to what happens routinely in the US: work your government job for a bit, build up connections and a network, then become a highly paid consultant for a big corporation. 

We joke about “late stage capitalism” on social media in the US, and rightly decry its hypocrisy and absurdity. But what I think I’m seeing in Vietnam is a reminder of the energy of early-stage capitalism. We wondered if this is what American felt like in the 50’s - when people could make a living wage without killing themselves and when at least white folks in America thought that there was enough good work and resources to go around, and that everyone could do dignified work and make a good life for themselves. Hard to say that most people feel that right now. In thinking about what happened in the US, and what doesn’t seem to have happened yet in Vietnam is at least a few of these things: Stratification of value, cost of living explosion and elite capture. 

Stratification: it really felt like everyone’s work was regarded as roughly of equal value. Our numerous drivers really seemed to feel like it was a great living. Most of the food vendors seemed genuinely happy doing the work they were doing. This is not to say that there aren’t definite class issues and markers of status, colorism is a powerful force and professional office work is esteemed. But I never got the sense that individuals resented their lot in life, most of the time, it felt like people were living lives of joy and dignity. And of course, much of the attainability of a good life has to do with feeling like the necessities of life being available at a reasonable cost. 

But what feels like also such a big differentiator right now is the extent of corruption - both outright abuse of power, but also the relatively more subtle kinds of elite power hoarding that characterizes so many of the world’s more developed economies. Of course, just before we arrived, a Vietnamese woman was sentenced to death for essentially corrupting the entire banking system, so people are clearly taking advantage of the current system. At the moment though, it feels here the standard of living is rising fast enough for everyone that even extreme wealth at the top end is acceptable. 

In the US, the past 40 years has shown us clearly that a rising tide does NOT raise all boats sufficiently. But that calculus feels different in Vietnam, but it feels like such a fragile moment - will we look back at this time and see it like Russia in the 90’s, when increasing economic liberalization led to rise of an elite oligarchy? Will it feel like the US in the 70s and 80s when we undermined social services, collectivism and cemented our cult of individualism? Being here this time has made me want to follow this question more closely, and having made more contacts and whatsapp friends this time around hopefully will allow me to use my Vietnamese to keep tabs on how the country continues to evolve.